Wednesday, March 28, 2007


myspace bulletin reposted here

Mar 28, 2007 9:37 PM
on air 4 hrs Fri nite
From 8 'til midnite this Fri nite. 91.7fm/ So at 10 I can play 'Suffer In Silence' by IMPALED NAZARENE with it's mutiple 'fucks'. Fuck yeah:) And,yup,AUTOSUTURE(me) shall be in full devestating effect throughout those 4 hrs. Via a 10" knife blade into a steel drum-mic'd (along with my screams/growls) thru a guitar pedal and into a Fender amp. Expect a very sweet and chill opening hr cuz.. well,cuz I want to-lol. Any requests? Ya best drop me a line here then so I can plan ahead,cuz recently(for the last yr) my radio shows have been all kinda last minute. So...tune in

Sunday, March 25, 2007

"...a flower in a field of coal"

originally blogged at myspace

Sunday, March 25, 2007
"...a flower in a field of coal"

Category: Life

! This is so how I feel about life.Beauty is ever at hand.Love is a heartbeat away regardless of whatever.

Director's Statement:There are a few moments in childhood that have a lasting impact. Not because they change the course of your life, or because they arrive with any great fanfare, in fact quite the opposite. Those are moments where an unexpected joy is found in the everyday, a moment of beauty in the ordinary. TWO CARS, ONE NIGHT captures one of those brief moments.
The story, or rather the situation, has some personal significance for me as I have spent many nights as a child in the confines of a large Holden outside various pubs, waiting for adults to finish their business. For children, the dark world of grown-ups is a mysterious one. It is also very boring. You make your own fun, you invent games, you pick on each other, you pass the time, which can often be hours.
By nature, when faced with grim circumstances, we tend to look for the light, the warmth, the beauty in life. It is this mood, this feeling, I wanted to capture in the film. One small moment of beauty, happiness, or love, lives longer in the memory than a lifetime of sorrow. This brief but enduring encounter, is like a flower in a field of coal, small but beautiful, it stands out, leaving an impression on the mind. The children's meeting is a chance at something. Love, or even human contact, like a seed, searches for soil to grow. Sometimes it takes root, sometimes it doesn't, but it always has the potential to create something wonderful. That is life.
I do not seek to vilify adults or make presumptions about rural life. I want to show how human contact creates something special in a not so special environment.

Thursday, March 22, 2007

'where do the rockets find planets' shall I capture how I'm feeling now.
shall I cup it gently in my hands,whisper softly into it's ears then squeeze it 'til the blood spills onto the paper.Then take that sheet and smear it across the screen.
Shall I feign resignation while subconciously I'm screaming with frustration and anger.
Shall I scoff at myself for not having a concise basis for my subtle distress.
Shall I simply just- shut.
You know-'git r done'
I just wanna be free.
Really free.
But are any of us ever free?


Here's a comment I left at my friend's latest blog at myspace
*edited 9/5/2011*
He's all about dada.
I think.
He kinda inspires me.
Motivates me.
Well,at least as far as writing.
It's awesome to have an oppurtunity to kinda -lol-freestyle.
I commented within less than a few minutes.
As it should be with him.
Try it.
It's cool

Thursday, March 22, 2007
tectonic plates shift in my heart. the chambers radiate misbegotten glee. aorta blood scintillates beneath the broken desert sun as I grind the sand grains of lost time between my knuckles. tiny lizards scatter beneath a lightning flash. violent excreta of the old gods. clams nestled in the bosom of the earth sing. cardinals weep. the tears slipping down and off their beaks into the open jaws of crystal meth kittens who whirl through the dark forest. wherest they go cannot be known. only they know. we will never have that knowledge

Tuesday, March 20, 2007


looong day.
I'm somewhat dazed.
probably from introducing accelerants into my blood system.
And no!-lol-not crystal meth or any other illegal amphetamine or mimic thereof.
caffeine,no more no less.

so why the hell does the Chelsea Groton bank need 400 lbs of lollipops?
wtf!20 boxes of freaking lollipops equals 4 trips to their freaking basement at 5 boxes a time.
That a few other ridiculous deliveries led to my finally arriving home at well after 6 this evening.
which makes me angry.
it's cool though cuz Katie did our laundry today.
that was awesome.
She's sleeping now.
Now, I needn't venture out and do it tomorrow evening.
I don't mind chilling at Starbucks and reading while the laundry is being done at the laundromat
but I do mind doing that during a weekday evening.I'd much rather do that on a Saturday morning Sunday afternoon.Well,at least while the weather is still less than ideal for motorbike riding.

The details of domestic life are less than exciting-my apolgies.
Think I shall now wander off to make some semblance of a dinner,start a fire and chill.
sleep long,sleep well kittens

Friday, March 16, 2007


Snow/sleet makes me angry.
pretty much fucked up everything today and tonight.
I made it home in my freaking 'sucks in the snow' truck.
God,it was a looong drive.
Maddd stress.
But I'm here-the fires roaring.
I'm safe and warm.
And so is Katharine.She's staying overnight at Deanna's house.
I was supposed to deliver pkg's in Norwich tomorrow cuz Katie and I have to go to court Mon, but f that.I'll do it Sunday.
I still have to shovel a driveway so I can park in my carport and not above
but I doubt I'll be moving the truck tonight-lol.
Lol-am I ever gonna have a day where I have nothing that needs to be done.
I hope yr all home warm and safe too.
Don't even think about venturing forth in yr vehicle.Even if it's 4 wheel drive.
Just chill-whether alone or with whoever you may be with.
They need you there.
Not in out in the sleetstorm,spinning yr vehicle into a tree or worse.
Sleep long.
Sleep well.
All this bs will pass.
May even be pretty tomorrow if yr receptive to that:)

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Wed. evening

early evening.
Katie's out, but was here earlier.
The dishes are washed,movie posters have been tacked to the wall,furniture has been arranged and more.
She's an awesome kid.
Me...I'm sleepy.Likely because I revved hard all day via excess caffeine and am now crashing.
But I must panfry some tenderloin strips and cook some green beans and mashed potatoes.Gotta feed the beast-lol.
I also need to start a fire in the woodstove-way chilly in here.
We have a television but I rarely watch tv.The only show I watch is Prison Break.I do occassionally watch dvd's/videos but not tonight.
Tonight I just wanna eat, shower and then crash with a book and some sweet music in the bedside boombox.
I'd love to have someone with me to fall asleep with. but I don't see that happening this evening-lol.
At the moment the only things on are a few lights and this pc.
Este was here earlier and when I walked in he did his madd cute yawn and stretch while perched on the top of the couch.
But I've since let him out.
IDK-I haven't much to say at the moment.
I simply need to tend to basic immediate needs this evening.
Nothing more,nothing less.

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

raw verse

originally posted on myspace

rough draft

Do you see that?
There-in the meadow.
That smear of red.

In the blighted patch
below the circling ravens.

That's my heart.

Staked out beneath the dull sun.
Staked out with rusted piano wire.

The ravens have been at it.
Their beaks are bloody.

And one drops from above like a rock
And then

in a heartbeat
a sweet little miracle of spread wings and sunlight
is there
like he never left

And as he gorges, his beak scrapes the taunt piano wire
releasing a raw discordant note
that I hope
is echoing in yr heart




it's 6 16.the sun is leaving.
I'll miss it.I love how our kitten Este looks in sunlight.
it's so incredible-short circuits all yr thoughts and is a pure direct line to yr heart.
Raw beauty.
I wonder if I'll ever be able to capture such moments with mere words.
Not that I consider words 'mere'.
but I think ya know what I mean.

*edited 9/5/2011*